One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in more than three decades as a working actor is this:

You can’t control the outcome. But you can control who you are in the process.

That may sound simple. Living it is another story.

As actors, we work in a business filled with things we cannot control.

We can’t control how many auditions come in.

We can’t control who else is being considered.

We can’t control what casting is looking for.

We can’t control whether a role gets rewritten, cut, recast or goes to someone who looks completely different from us.

And we definitely can’t control whether the thing we thought we nailed turns into a job.

Yet how much of our precious mental energy do we spend trying to dissect all of it?

I know I have.

Here’s the question that changed everything

At some point, I realized I needed to stop asking:

“How do I make this happen?”

And start asking:

“What can I take ownership of right now?”

Because there is always something that puts the ownership back on me.

I can control how prepared I am.

I can control the thoughts I choose to believe.

I can control how I speak to myself.

I can control whether I walk into an audition trying to prove I belong there or trusting that I already do.

I can control whether I spend the next three days refreshing my email and second-guessing every choice I made or submit the work, celebrate myself for doing it, and move forward.

That distinction has become one of the most important mental game tools I use.

Focus on what you can control.
Let the rest go.

I had to practice this all over again with Company Retreat and even now that we are in Emmy season.

Decades into my career, I still have to practice this.

When the opportunity for Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat came along, I couldn’t control whether I would book it.

I couldn’t control who else they were considering.

I couldn’t control what happened after my self-tape left my hands.

What I could control was the work.

I could prepare like a pro.

I could trust my instincts.

I could bring myself to the role rather than trying to guess what someone on the other side of the camera wanted from me.

And then I could let it go.

That is exactly what I did.

And that self-tape ultimately led to me booking a starring role in the series and having a TV critic call my performance “Emmy-worthy.”  (A pinch-me moment for sure).

But here’s the important part:
The real work isn’t learning to believe in yourself once things are going well.

The real work is learning how to stay grounded,
confident and connected to yourself
before you know the outcome.

Your confidence can’t depend on the evidence.

This is where I see so many talented actors struggle.

We think:

When I start auditioning more, I’ll feel confident.

When I book something, I’ll know I’m good enough.

When my reps believe in me, I’ll believe in myself.

When the industry gives me evidence that I’m succeeding, I’ll finally relax.

But that gives everything outside of you authority over everything inside of you.

You are literally leasing your worth, value and belief in external conditions. 

It’s exhausting and I promise you, it will never be enough.  If you don’t first think you’re enough.

Instead, what if your job became strengthening the part of you that remains steady while the evidence is still uncertain?

That’s mental game mastery.

And it is a skill.

Try this the next time your mind starts spiraling:

When you notice yourself worrying about an audition, a callback, your reps, your career or what everyone else seems to be doing ask:

Is this actually within my control?

If the answer is no, gently redirect your attention.

Then ask:

What IS within my control right now?

Maybe it’s preparing.

Maybe it’s following up.

Maybe it’s taking a class.

Maybe it’s updating your materials.

Maybe it’s resting.

Maybe it’s getting off Instagram.

Maybe it’s simply refusing to turn
one disappointing result into
a story about your entire future.

That last one is especially important.

Because one audition isn’t your career.

One rejection isn’t your career.

One slow season isn’t your career.

As long as you don’t allow your current circumstances to define you, derail you or defeat you, you will be victorious.

But success requires more than talent.

After teaching thousands of actors around the world, I’ve seen the same thing again and again:

Talent matters. Training matters. Strategy matters.

But so does learning how to manage the person carrying all of that talent into the room.

You.

Your focus. Your confidence. Your mindset. Your ability to recover.

Your ability to keep going when the evidence hasn’t arrived yet.

In fact, inside my Five Insider Secrets To Becoming A Successful Working Actor, I teach actors to:

• Choose your FOCUS. So limiting beliefs don’t derail you.
• Own your UNIQUENESS. So you stop worrying about the competition.
• Reignite your CONFIDENCE.  So you recover more easily from rejection.
• Elevate your MINDSET. So you can embody the emotions of your highest vision.
• Strengthen your SYSTEMS. So you have repeatable structures supporting your success.

Because you shouldn’t have to reinvent your confidence every time an audition arrives.

You can build the mental game that allows you to meet opportunities differently.

And when you do?

You stop waiting for the industry to make you feel successful.
You start bringing the empowered version of yourself with you.

Ready to stand out in your self-tapes and book more work?

I teach all five of these principles (and give you my Unshakeable Confidence Playbook) in my free masterclass, Five Insider Secrets To Becoming A Successful Working Actor.

Learn practical strategies you can start using immediately to prepare, perform and navigate this career with more confidence and certainty.

Attend the Free Masterclass Here →

Then, let me know in the comments, what do you tell yourself in uncertain times? 

Keep going, Sunshine. ☀️

Wendy